Leadership Series: Part 4. Fraternizing

Perhaps "fraternization" isn't really the word I want here, but at least it should get your attention. What I'm referring to is how leadership relates to those they lead.

When I think of fraternization, I think of the military. I picture uniformed leaders with lots of brass on their shoulders (or at least a high rank) relating to the rank and file soldiers. Fraternization doesn't have a good connotation, for it brings to mind a leader relating to a lower soldier in ways that are not permitted. For instance, a leader dating a lower soldier- who has to obey the leader and would have a hard time putting off unwanted advances without placing themselves in a position of being disciplined by the leader if they do not obey. So rules against fraternization would be good for such situations.

This situation aside, there is a misunderstanding of what a leader's relationship should be to a follower. I recall a common discussion some of us had during our training school experience- whether Cadets should go to the altar at public meetings where soldiers could see them struggling. I recall being taught in a classroom that we should not let our people see we are struggling or that we have issues that need to be addressed at the altar. I immediately bristled at this thought!

Should we pretend we're not human? Should we act like once we have become officers we no longer have spiritual issues to deal with? What a sham! What a falsifying of the truth . . . what a lie.

Herein lies the real issue of this discussion- are leaders better than the people they lead? I offer a resounding NO!

We are all the body of Christ and a leader merely has a different role to play than any other part of that body. Not more important, just different. Not more important than an intercessor, just different. Not more important than an administrator, just different (yes, a leader is different than an administrator). Not more important than those who speak in tongues, just different. etc, et al.

A leader is not higher than, rather equal to; on a par with; on the same level. It is Jesus alone who rises above us all. Yet what was his response to this very discussion going on among his followers?

Then they began to argue among themselves about who would be the greatest among them. Jesus told them, “In this world the kings and great men lord it over their people, yet they are called ‘friends of the people.’ But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. Who is more important, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course. But not here! For I am among you as one who serves.
- Luke 22:24-27 (NIV)

At another place Jesus says "you are not servants, I call you friends." With that kind of example, how in the world can I, chosen by this very Jesus to be a leader, act any differently than he did? What would be my justification? How could I stand before him and say, "I know you said 'do it this way,' but I think . . ."

This goes back to a previous post where I told you about my desire for people to call me "Doug." I'm not interested in you knowing or using my rank or my position. It's man-made and offers nothing in the spiritual realm we move in.

Perhaps there are those who are insecure in their position, who feel it necessary to make sure their subordinates (really not a good word here!) show them the "proper respect" (whatever that is). I believe you cannot require respect from people. If they do not have it, you cannot manufacture it. It will come only when they see your love for them and desire to work with them, shoulder to shoulder. Not over them or above them.

A leader's task is to gather people together and lead them as a team. Each using their gifts together for the benefit of the team to accomplish what God has for them to do. Where each member takes the "lead" now and then in their area of expertise.

My people are not "my people," they are Jesus' people- I am just the hired hand; the steward of what The Master owns. I have to report back to him with how I treat his loved ones. Woe unto me if I do not treat them after the manner he does!

Just in case you're wondering- I fraternize with the best of 'em!