I Wonder . . .

Ever since the long discussion about holiness a few posts ago, I have been thinking and wrestling a lot with . . . well, actually many things. I'm in one of those stages where my mind goes off on tangent after tangent and there are so many of them, I can't quite make sense of them all! I'm sure this is just one of the things that defines me as a thinking person, but through it all this time, I've been feeling almost as if I shouldn't be thinking as hard as I am. There must be something more- above my understanding and beyond my attempts to corral it into my tiny brain.

I'm almost finished reading Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller. This is a book that's hard to read straight through, because he gets you off on tangent after tangent thinking about very deep spiritual things. But it doesn't read like a "deep" book. His writing style is incredibly fun- I love it!

Anyway, I just finished reading chapter 17, in which he talks about worship and wonder. As I was highlighting most of his words (I should have saved money by buying the yellow paged book and a white highlighter!), I was particularly taken by his comment:

"Too much of our time is spent trying to chart God on a grid, and too little is spent allowing our hearts to feel awe. By reducing Christian spirituality to formula, we deprive our hearts of wonder."

Then he goes on to say:

"the chances of any of our theology being exactly right are a million to one"

and:

"All the wonder of God happens right above our arithmetic and formula. The more I climb outside my pat answers, the more invigorating the view, the more my heart enters into worship."

As intelligent as I think I am and as right as I believe I am on my theology, one thing I am sure of: I expect to find each one of us way off on some of our understanding of spirituality and God. No one has it all right (I just wonder how far off we all are?).

There are times when I MUST drop all my theology, all my thinking, all my attempts to understand God and just simply worship him in wonder.

I hope I figure out all the things I'm thinking about recently. In them, I believe God is trying to get some big things through to me.

But I can't forget to just drop it all every now and then (more often than not?) and bask in the mystery that is God.