Confession

I believe confession is important (just to be clear, we are to confess to God and each other, not necessarily a priest or pastor). I also believe in holiness- which, to me, means we can live without sinning. This entails having such a close relationship with Jesus, Holy Spirit stops us before we do anything he would not like. Therefore, if we are living in holiness, there is no need to confess when we aren't sinning. Unfortunately, I don't always live up to that possibility. Case in point:

It has occurred to me that I have been rather judgemental in my thoughts of others recently (I actually believe Jesus is the one who has brought me to this realization). This is so recent, I am just now working through what this means for me. However, I do know it starts with confession. Let's see where this goes.

I have been having trouble sleeping lately. It's the kind where your mind just will not shut down and continually thinks. What I have mostly been thinking about is the awful state of the world and the terrible people who have brought us to this incredible place (fear has risen from that and I will likely delve into that here at a later point). I guess I have thought of this as a righteous anger, so it has been overlooked in my attempts to put into words all these thoughts and hopefully help others to see the truth.

But being a Christian is not about going to church or following a set of rules or doing the right thing. It's all about living in a relationship with Jesus. And let me set the record straight, if I need to- Jesus is love. He did not come into the world to condemn it or to judge humankind. He came to love us into a relationship with himself and his father. And we Christians have not been doing a very good job at living like that relationship is what it's all about. Being right seems to be of utmost importance to us (and judging those who are wrong). Or at least what we think is right. Unfortunately, what we think is right and what actually is right are often two very different things. 

Since a little bit before retiring, I started realizing how very important love is in a Christian's life. If we are not loving, we are not following Jesus. If we are not loving, we are not living in that relationship with Jesus. Well frankly, if we are not loving, we are not Christians (Christian meaning "Christ-follower").

 I must confess my desire to bring others to the truth has not been coming from love. Rather it has been coming from my being "right" and them being wrong. How can they not see the truth? I want them to think right like I do.

How haughty of me. How non-Christian. Ouch.

To you, my readers, I confess and apologize. I ask forgiveness.

Where do I go from here? I'm not sure, but I will be listening to what Jesus has to say to me about this. I'll let you know how it goes.