'Twas the Night Before Moves Came out

(with appropriate apologies)

T'was the night before moves came out, when all through New England,
Not an soldier was stirring, not even the YPSM;
The stockings were hung in the bathroom with care,
In hopes that the Maytag repairman soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of moving trucks danced in their heads;
And Mamma in her epaulets and I in my cap,
Had just scheduled our calendar for the long summer's gap.

When down at the office there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the quarters to see what was the matter.
Away to the fax machine I flew with my hunch,
Tore open the DHQ envelope and threw up my lunch.

My heart beat so quickly, I awkwardly dipped,
And dropped all it's contents to the floor as I slipped,
Then what to my wandering eyes should make wary,
But a business-sized letter from the Field Secretary.

With that curl of the ink on the envelope full of drama,
I knew in a moment it must be from St. Barbara.
More rapid than when filing statistics I waved like a flame,
And I whistled and shouted when I saw not my name:

"Now, Barter! now, Bennett! now, Collins and Lyle!
On, Pelletier! on Dansereau! on, Streck and Camuti!
To the top of the territory! to the top of the Corps Hall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As an officer without his cap turns the corner ahead,
When he meets with the D.C. in obvious dread,
So out to the moving companies the officers they flew,
With their homes full of boxes and all the kids too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the phone,
The gabbing and guessing of each little drone.
As I drew in my breath and was headed for home,
Down the driveway a mystery man came with a tome.

He was dressed all in uniform, from his head to his foot,
But his shoes were not polished- they looked covered in soot;
A bundle of paper-work he had flung in his trunk
And he looked like an auditor with his financial junk!

His eyes- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
He seemed to enjoy this surprise visit so very!
His tape player was blaring so loudly and bland
He was listening to the latest from the New York Staff Band!

When he opened the car door, his wife pushed him out
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of my doubt;
That look in his eye and that cock of his head
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled out my Marching Orders- I felt just like a jerk,
And laying a finger aside of his nose
He pulled out a tissue and blew like a hose.

The stump of a pencil he held tight in his fingers
And the tip was quite dull from his last minute figures.
He tore off a sheet from the pad in his hand,
And handed me orders, to a faraway land!

He sprang to his Chevy, though his wife had the hick-ups,
Away they both flew like they were headed for pick-ups.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove with his wife:
"Happy Moving to all and to all a good life!"